Peel It!
by AlbinoWhisper
Summary: When Reapers, Demons, and humans alike end up together in a small, run-down inn with incredibly thin walls, things are bound to turn for the worst.


**A/N: ** AHA! This is strictly a crack-fic! Nothing serious to be taken here, folks. This is actually based off a similiar occurance when I, peeling from sunburn, had asked my friend, an Undertaker cosplayer, to "peel it." Mind you, I said it really loudly and in a crowded mall. xDDD Needless to say she didn't peel it. TT_TT

Enjoy. XD

* * *

This was hardly a way Ciel Phantomhive had planned on spending his night. Quiet laughter emitted from a certain mortician behind him and he sighed. Despite Sebastian's confidence that this was going to work out just fine, Ciel still had his doubts. Taking a light step forward, Sebastian opened the door of the Wayward Side Inn.

A portly woman sat behind a desk, a flask of what reeked of strong alcohol in her hand. Grell Sutcliffe sighed dramatically. Grell's childish reaction sparked amusement from the Undertaker and he began to chuckle excitedly as he watched Grell from beneath the feathery tendrils of his gray hair. As Sebastian checked in the group of supernatural and humans alike, Undertaker lifted a pale finger and pressed it to Grell's cheek gently.

"Where is William, tonight, hmm?"

Grell cast an annoyed glanced over to the other Reaper and sighed again. "Well if you_ must _know, he's going to be late. Something about more paperwork to file..."

Undertaker grinned and nodded, laughing as quietly as he could. Meanwhile, Sebastian turned to face the group consisting of Bard, Finnian, Meylene, Ciel, Undertaker, Grell, soon-to-be-William, and Sebastian himself. As he looked at the hodge-podge group that had assembled around him, he couldn't help but wonder how he had gotten into this situation. He sighed and pointed at Grell and Undertaker.

"Undertaker, you and Grell shall share a room together-"

"But Sebas-chaaaan!" Grell whined, his golden eyes glimmering with hurt. "What about **us**?"

Sebastian suppressed his anger and desire in wanting to bash the ginger in the face and, instead, ignored the loud and flamboyant complaints.

Undertaker grinned, however, obviously joyous with this arrangement. Sebastian looked at Ciel.

"The young master and I shall remain together. It is only natural that a butler be with his master at all times in order to protect him."

Ciel scoffed and crossed his arms at this comment. Sebastian continued. "Bard and Finnian, you shall share a room while Meylene has a room to herself. William will join Grell and Undertaker upon his return, I suppose."

Smiling his sickly sweet smile, Sebastian proceeded ahead of the group and showed them all to their rooms.

* * *

Grell slowly unbuttoned his shirt, casting it away onto a nearby chair. He glanced at himself in the mirror, checking to make sure his hair was still satisfactory. A lady had to remain beautiful at all times, after all...

"Ah! Oh my!"

Undertaker, who had already gone through the process or removing his hat and his overcoat while remaining in just his undercoat sat in bed, a slight frown obscuring what would have been a smile.

"What is it, Grell?" He asked quietly, nails dragging absentmindledly along the thin blanket they would share.

Grell turned, frowning. "I..I'm peeling."

"You're..what?"

"I got sunburned the other week during one of William's brutal assignments and well, my skin is flaking off."

A wide smile cracked along Undertaker's face and he began to laugh at the news. Grell scoffed.

"This is no laughing matter, now I won't be nearly as beautiful for my Sebas-chaan if I'm peeling!"

Grell proceeded to lunge himself at the gray-haired man and grasped his undercoat. "Peel it!"

"Excuse...me?" Undertaker replied through another bout of laughter. Grell grinned then.

"Peel my back for me! Please!"

* * *

"Goodnight young master," Sebastian spoke quietly, draping the sheets gently over the drowsy Ciel. It did not suprise him when his master fell to sleep almost immediately.

Suddenly, a gentle moan sounded through the thin walls just beside where the demon stood. Sebastian stared at the peeling wallpaper, wondering what could have caused such a noise.

"Ahh..Under..."

There it was again. What was going on in there? The muffled voices continued but Sebastian, try as he might, could not make heads or tales of it. Slowly, quietly, he approached the wall and pressed his ear to it. Maybe then he could-

_BAM!_

Grell's hands balled up into tight fists as he continued to bang on the wall, moaning passionately. The Undertaker continued his task of peeling the dead skin from Grell's bare back and was inciting quite a riot with the ginger. Undertaker laughed loudly at Grell's reactions. The Reaper continued to press himself against the wall, his face flushed.

"Oh, peel more! It feel s-ssooo goooooooood!"

Undertaker smiled and dragged his long nails down Grell's back, gathering up the dead skin and then peeling it off. Grell moaned quietly and banged against the wall.

"_What the hell?" _ Sebastian thought as he continued to listen to Grell's begging voice and Undertaker's delighted laughter.

The demon butler didn't know whether he should be afraid or glad that Grell had seemingly found a companion. Glad that Grell would leave him alone but afraid that this _activity_ that was going on as of now would repeat and by this point, he wouldn't hear the end of it. He cast a worried glance to Ciel, who seemed to sleep through the increasingly loud voices.

"Uhhm..PEEL IT!"

Sebastian drew back from the wall. "Peel.._what_?"

* * *

"Bard!"

Loud snoring.

"B-bard!"

Still more snoring.

"Bardory!"

"Huh? Wh-what?" The Phantomhive chef woke up to the worried and scared face of young Finnian.

"What's wrong, Finny?" The older man asked. Finnian pointed to the ceiling, where another loud moan sounded and delighted laughter followed as if on cue.

"There's..." Finnian blushed. "There's something going on upstairs. Something...perverse!"

Bard paused to listen only to find that Finnian was right. Loud banging could be heard followed by the faint words of 'peel it more!'

Bard grimaced. "Who's in that room?"

Finnian flushed a dark red. "Grell Sutcliffe and Undertaker."

* * *

"That Grell Sutcliffe has given me five extra hours of paperwork to do," A furious William Spears murmured as he trailed slowly towards the room he assumed was designated for him. "That idiotic red-head is going to get it when I-"

"Oh..Undertaker! Do it agaaaain!"

"Kehehehehe!"

William opened the door to a scene unlike any he had seen before. Grell was pressed up against the wall while Undertaker stood behind him, using his long black nails to drag what appeared to be peeling skin off the ginger's back. Grell's face was flushed and he appeared to have been moaning while Undertaker gleefully continued his task of...whatever the hell he was doing. William felt his face grow hot.

"Am I...interupting anything?"

Grell grinned excitedly, "Oh, this is terrific William! Come, help Undertaker peel it for me!"

William paled considerably before he felt his heartbeat quicken. He slowly backed out of the room, shaking his head and mumbling something incoherent about perverted morticians.

Frantically he knocked on the door beside the one Grell and Undertaker were staying in. Sebastian opened it and, for once, did not greet him with a snide remark.

"As much as I regret saying this to the likes of you...may I escape from _that_?" William asked. And, on cue, another loud moan emitted from the adjacent room. William looking for anything to get away from the two odd Reapers and their strange activities.


End file.
